Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Say Hello - Wave Goodbye

I was pregnant, everyone in my family was very excited, this was a child they had never expected to see, I was not really one of those women who craved a child so my parent and grandparents had resigned themselves to not having a grandchild or great-granchild supplied by me and my other half, but here I was  pregnant and everyone as so looking forward to meeting the bump when he finally made his appearance.

My grandad was probably the most excited, a father of girls and the grandfather to girls he was practically vibrating with excitement at meeting his great grandson, he just could not wait. We were living in the midlands at the time and my grandparents were in Scotland but we would make frequent trips up to see them and they down to see us, they were both fit and healthy or so I thought.  

So when I was 29 weeks pregnant we found out that my grandad had lung cancer, and my heart broke.  In his usual style grandad took the whole thing in his stride and was determined that he was going to beat this and be fine, I only wished I was as optimistic.  Perhaps it was my hormones and being pregnant but I felt a terrible sense of dread that my wonderful grandad was not going to get to meet my son.

We visited and grandad seemed to be okay for about 3 weeks after his diagnosis, he constantly talked about taking smurf fishing when he was old enough and sharing with him his love of carpentry and working with wood, taking him to football games and on seaside walks and we agreed with him that they would have great fun together doing all those things and more, but we knew by this time and I think maybe deep down he did too that it was going to be a miracle if any of that happened.

My grandad only lasted 7 weeks after his diagnosis, we held his funeral when I was 36 weeks pregnant and smurf and Grandad Phil never got to meet one another, they would have been great friends I am sure, and we often talk about how grandad would have reacted to things smurf does and I can actually picture them together if i close my eyes.

We did manage to say our goodbyes and he left me with a love of the countryside and football that I will pass on to smurf for him.  

Although I had to say goodbye to a wonderful part of my life I got to say hello to another wonderful part too, I just wish they could have got to say hello to each other.

This post was written as part of the writing workshop over at Sleep is for the Weak, I chose prompt 5 recount the story of  a meeting or a parting


  1. awww that's such a sad story. Such a shame they couldn't meet.

  2. Thank you for such a poignat story. It is such a shame when little ones don't get to meet grandparents as it can be such a wonderful relationship


  3. This totally made me well up :(
    I bet your grandad is looking down though, chuffed to bits about your gorgeous little boy xx

  4. Oh so sad. At least your grandad got to know of the impending arrival, which obviously made him so happy!

  5. So moving and sad, but it's comforting to know that your grandad was so eager and excited about the arrival of your baby. I'm sorry he didn't get to meet him. Such a lovely posting, thanks for sharing. xxx

  6. Oh my heart goes out to you. I have just written a similar piece for Josie's workshop because my gran died when I was heavily pregnant with my biggest boy. I have always felt that she left a little space in the world just for him.
    Lovely post, beautifully written and very poignant. x

  7. That's such a sad and lovely story! Do you talk to your son about his great-grand-father, show him photos? Maybe when he's older he'll feel that he has a connection to him even though he's never met him.

  8. Oh what a shame. How sad, I'm sobbing. Beautifully written, Lorraine x

  9. Livi - It was a shame, they would have got on so well.

    Julia - It is grandparents can have such a big impact on childrens lives.

    miss leslieanne - I hope he is...sorry for making you well up #:-)

    hearth-mother & emmylou- yes thats true, he loves the idea.

    christinemosler - will hop over and read your post christine, thanks for the lovely comment..sorry your boy didnt get to meet your gran either.

    Sandrine - yes we talk to smurf about him and he has somethings that belonged to my granded which are now his, I hope he feelsthat connection.

    Sany - sorry for the sobbing Sandy and thanks for the lovely comment. x