Saturday, 19 September 2009


I received another award this week, from the lovely 'Whistlejacket' over at her lovely blog "Babyrambles" I am feeling well chuffed , I never win anything so all these awards are making up for it.

This award is a bit strange, but I like strange, it appeals to my sense of humour. As with every award there are rules :-

“The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all.”

So that is quite a challenge and I'm never one to back away from a challenge...I mean lets face it..if you didn't like a challenge would you ever have kids?

So here they are :-

Carole over at New Mummy who put together a great blogger carnival this week.

Yummy Mammy over at her blog where she has reached 100 posts!!!!

Tasha over at Wham-Bam who is just about to have another baby.

Ruth at All About Bertie, poor Bertie has been ill recently.

And last but never least...Andrea over at Accidental Business Mum.

All lovely bloggers,who I love to read, if you don't already go and give their blogs a look.

Saturday, 12 September 2009

My First Award....Yippeeeeeee

I got an award..I got an award..I'm very excited, and I need to say thanks to the brilliant Amy over at and 1 more means 4, who nominated me, she is my partner in crime on a Saturday evening, when we talk a lot of balls about The Cube on ITV 1. If you don't already go and have a read of her blog, it's great.

And now I also get to pass the lovely award onto some other fantastic mummy bloggers who deserve here goes they are -:

Carly at WADS

If you don't already go and have a look all great mummy bloggers with plenty to say.

Friday, 11 September 2009

Who Gets Hurt!!!

"I want to come and live with you and my dad!" this was announced to me over fish-fingers and chips, by a rather grubby 8 year old, we were at my mother in laws and the grubby child in question was my soon to be step son. My heart was screaming at me to say "yes no problem, lets go now", but I knew it was not going to be as easy as that.

My hubby and I had recently moved to Scotland due to work and were desperately trying to get stepsons mum to allow weekend access for him to come to us at least once a month, we had tried everything, telling her we would fly down and collect him and deliver him back, we would pay for the flights, every obstacle she put in the way we had an answer for, it didn't matter she had made up her mind and that was that, it didn't matter to her that her son and my hubby were suffering because of this,she had the right to stop him coming to us because we had moved so far away. It seemed that the fact they were suffering was just an added bonus.

We had tried solicitors but the answer was always that although legally she couldn't stop us from having access she could cause great difficulty because we were living so far away, (about 400 miles).

As it was we were travelling the 400 miles every other weekend because my hubby was and still is a great dad and would not miss his access, he wanted to see his son, was in fact desperate to see him.

My stepsons mother on the other hand did everything she could to make any access we had to him very difficult,even going as far as to send him with dirty clothes, if she did send any clothes and conveniently forgetting about the times every time we had him. She just seemed to enjoy having a hold over my hubby...even though it had been her that left him!!

After much legal wrangling we actually had stepson come to live with us, mainly through the fact that he was so insistent this was what he wanted to do and the fact that my hubby fought very hard to make sure his son did get what he wanted. I wont pretend it was easy, it was bloody hard and down right disheartening at times, but parents living in two countries can make things work for their child if they chose to do so, it just need them both to be focused on the what in the end is surely the most important thing..your child's welfare. We managed to get all of us working on the same side, working for what was best for stepson. It's not about whether mums or dads are better parents, its about being the best parent you can be for your child, and that may mean you being apart from your child because in some cases they are better off somewhere else.

My stepson is now a strapping nearly 18 year old and we have all stayed amicable throught, we all managed finally to be on the same side and be sensible about things some parents are not so lucky!!

This post is part of the Save one Mammy campaign , mammy want to move with her Englishborn daughter back to their homeland ( a distance of only 135 miles door to door) where she has the support of friends and family that she needs and wants, at the moment this is being made impossible for her due to the ultimately selfish actions of her ex who is doing everything to prevent this, for seemingly egotistical reasons, no matter how badly this affects his child. Parental alienation,unfair hearings and a clear and blatant violation of every EU citizens right to free movement are just a few of the struggles she has had to overcome. Please help us raise awareness, this kind of treatment is a reality for desperate parents every day,you can also read about her struggles here, and please give her some support or some free legal advise if you specialise in Irish family law.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

A Change Is Afoot

There have been big decisions being made in the household this last couple of weeks, changes that will mean I have to redo the about me on this blog, I have decided to give up work to spend more time with the smurf. Therefore as of the end of the month, I will no longer be a working mum, well not in the paid employment sense anyway.

This is actually a very big thing for me as I have worked since smurf was 12 weeks old, but since moving back to Scotland at the beginning of the year I have found it a real struggle adjusting to the amount of time I actually get to spend with him. I blogged about this before, how my mum and dad are super babysitters, but its just not the same.

As daft as it now seems I though that taking a job working late afternoon and evenings would leave me free to spend all day with my smurf, but the reality of the situation was that I was leaving for work (1 hour car journey away) at 2.00pm and not home till almost midnight, which meant smurf was having to spend every week night sleeping at grannies house, definitely not ideal as far as either mummy or smurf were concerned.

Things really started to come to a head when hubby's job changed after a promotion which meant that he is usually away for 3 weeks at a time, this didn't really bother me too much as this was what he did when we first got together and first got married, but smurf has never had to deal with daddy being away for more than a day or so and found it really difficult, even asking if his daddy was ever coming back (broke my heart and brought a tear to hubby's eye), and also asked if we could get Scooby Doo to find his daddy as he was "lost".

With all this in mind I have staggered lots of days off when daddy is home and taken a couple of unpaid days, just to make sure we are spending time together and of course there are the weekends, but it just didn't seem to be enough and smurf was getting a bit clingy, something he has never been before.

The first thing I did when I started to notice this was enquire at work about changing hours to daytime, huh child friendly workplace....I don't think so, big no no as the hours I work are difficult to get trained people to supervise. apparently!! So it was those hours basically or nothing, so after much debate and wringing of hands, nothing is what it is going to have to be for the moment.

I have taken all of my holidays and as of now am a stay at home mum although I will still be classed as employed for another 5 weeks.

Smurf is loving it, I am loving it and I am sure my mum and dad are loving the peace, I will start to look into doing something part time in a few weeks but for the moment I am just going to savour some "Quality" time with my smurf.