I need to preface this post by saying I had a wonderful relationship with both sets of grandparents when I was a child, they were everything you would expect wonderfully grannies and grandads to be, and I wanted the same for my Smurf.
We have only recently moved back to Scotland from the Midlands (10 minutes away from in laws), and they have now decided this is the reason for not seeing my Smurf as much as they see their other grandchildren. (my 2 nieces,who I love to pieces, and my stepson, who I also love to pieces), bear in mind we have been up here for 6 months and the 2 times they have seen Smurf was my OH and I taking him down to them.
I feel that they treat my son differently than the other kids because of the relationship I have with them(once heard my mother-in-law say she didn't like me and never would), and it really hurts me, it hurts me for my Smurf, because he is such a lovely warm sunny and loving child, and he deserves to be loved unconditionally by his paternal grandparents, it makes me really angry that I find myself unable to voice these feeling to my in-laws for fear of making the void even worse. My OH knows all this and is of the opinion that we should just leave them to it as they are the ones losing out, but my heart breaks for my Smurf and I fear the feelings between my in-laws and myself will never get any better and my Smurf will forever be the unfavoured grandchild because they only see me in him not not their own son.
Even after all this I will smile and make small talk when we visit and make Smurf give Nanny and grandad kisses and hugs, even though he barely knows them. I just sometimes wish things could be different for all our sakes.
We don't see my husband's father at all.
ReplyDeleteMy kids don't even really know he exists. They see my Dad and my stepmum regularly and my husband's mum, who the kids call MarMar.
I don't think they are missing out by not seeing him. As a child I only ever saw my paternal grandparents 4 or 5 times a year and I have really fond memories of the times we did share.
Families eh? Who'd have em?
Oh Lorraine, you have to see it as their loss. Smurf is clearly surrounded by a loving family. Give them time, they may come round? I hope you have a good trip and keep your chin up x
ReplyDeleteWe will Sandy...and I know it is their loss, Smurf does not even notice, just me having a rant...lol
ReplyDeleteMy children don't see my husbands family that much either. We always have to go to them and it's hardly ever vice versa. You can't choose your family though can you?! As Sandy said, it is their loss x
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